by rossanahead | Apr 5, 2011 | family, parenting, Ruth M. Floresca, woman
By Ruth Floresca
Just last night, at a movie premiere where I brought my youngest son with me, some friends teased, “Pabata ng pabata ang mga ka-date mo ah.” (“Your dates are getting younger and younger.”) We all laughed at the joke because I’ve just “dated” my eldest son at another movie premiere a couple of weeks ago while my second son accompanied me to the press preview of a theater play last week.
As much as possible, I try to take time to bond with my boys, including hubby, one at a time at least once or twice a month, or more, if time and budget permits. See, I am guilty of getting caught up almost every day with writing deadlines and house chores that I don’t get to talk to them as much as I’d like to.
But when we’re traveling on the way to and from our dates, I am able to catch up on what’s happening with them and get to know each young man better. It’s a continuous process, this getting to know one’s children because they grow up so fast and I don’t want to wake up one morning to find out that I don’t know anything about them anymore.
Thus, I am very grateful for those moments we are given pockets of time to bond. My kids do sometimes protest that they’d rather stay at home and watch DVDs or catch up with friends on Facebook. But I do hope that when they’re all grown up and have families of their own, they’ll remember those instances when they had a great time laughing with their mother during a hilarious play or movie; eating a new dish they got to try the first time we ate at a restaurant we’ve never been to before; or getting lost because we rode the wrong jeepney and hilariously panicked together because it was nearing midnight and we had no idea how we’ll get to our destination.
Someday, I’m sure I’ll also look back at those moments and have a great time remembering …
by rossanahead | Mar 22, 2011 | parenting, Ruth M. Floresca, woman
By Ruth Manimtim-Floresca
For years, I always get asked how I cope with the all the responsibilities that come with having four kids. I usually tell them I take valid shortcuts that make our lives easier without compromising results. Here are three tips that saved me effort, time, and money which I either learned from fellow moms or discovered on my own and successfully applied in raising my boys.
* All my boys’ first names start with G. My husband’s and his four siblings’ names also start with G. Most of my firstborn’s things were labeled with G. FLORESCA. Whenever his brothers “inherit” stuff from Kuya, I don’t need to change the name anymore. These days, they could even swap and borrow each others’ bags, caps, jackets, umbrellas, etc. and bring them to school without worrying much if the item would be returned to them in case it gets lost.
* When they were still small, I periodically trace my kids’ left foot on paper, cut the drawings out, and keep them in my wallet. Whenever I see a pair of shoes or sandals that I think they would like, I could buy the footwear there and then because I didn’t need to come back to the store and bring the kid to make him try out the shoes.
* I breastfed all my children but did mixed feedings when they were several months old. My Ob-Gyne taught me that I should never let my baby get used to drinking warm milk. “Always use boiled water that has been cooled to room temperature.” That advice saved me from bringing a thermos of hot water everywhere we go. I’ve seen other moms deal with the hassle of preparing warm formula inside a moving vehicle because their baby won’t drink milk that’s not warm enough! I’m thankful that it is not something I had to go through with any of my kids.
Photo by Tanaphong Toochinda on Unsplash
by | Mar 12, 2011 | Education, parenting, Ruth M. Floresca, woman
By Ruth Manimtim-Floresca
All of us go through a lot of firsts in our lives. I remember being patiently taught by my grandmother how to iron my school uniforms when I started my freshman year in high school. It took a few weeks before I got the task down pat but, finally, I did! And from then on, I would iron all my uniforms on Sunday nights and fold them neatly in my large bag the next day before I leave for my boarding house in Los Banos where I stay during weekdays.
When our kids were old enough to do chores, my husband and I also painstakingly instructed and demonstrated to them how to do things so they could help around the house. In the process, we’ve had days when the rice was either soggy or crunchy; red hotdogs have turned black; the pot of boiled eggs had emitted clouds of smoke because the water had dried up while the flames underneath continued their merry dance; an expensive pair of pants was burned by a too-hot iron; plates and glasses flew from soapy hands to land as tiny pieces on the floor; and many other disasters.
Sometimes, our patience would be stretched to its limits but we knew we can’t give up helping the boys “get it right.” How else could they learn if they are not allowed to make mistakes?
Nowadays, whenever I’m up to my neck in deadlines, I could continue working on my laptop or leave the house to attend a media event while a teen or pre-teen would take over washing the dishes, sweeping the yard, feeding the dog or, even, cooking menudo!
For us, having no maid to rely on for years now is more of an advantage than a setback. We’re grateful for the opportunity to watch and wait for our kids to grow up as responsible human beings who don’t expect other people to do what they could already accomplish on their own. We also often remind the boys that we need to help each other out because, really, that’s what being family is all about.
Photo by Allen Taylor on Unsplash
by rossanahead | Mar 8, 2011 | children, family, parenting, Ruth M. Floresca, woman
My name is Ruth Manimtim-Floresca, a work-at-home mom who contributes articles to Philippine print and online publications. I feel blessed that I am able to earn from what I enjoy doing and which come with flexible work hours. This allows me to spend more time with my family and primarily care for my son with special needs.
I have four boys aged 12, 13, 15, and 17. Daniel, my youngest, is in fifth grade; Joshua, my second son, is a high school junior; and Geffrey, our firstborn is a college freshman taking up Digital Media Arts. James, my third child, has spastic quadriplegic cerebral palsy. He can’t talk or walk but he has already taught our family so much about love, patience, and faith for the past 13 years, and counting.
Although our household can be noisy at times, they are mostly happy sounds. Sure, the three boys argue over computer schedules and who’s going to wash the dishes or feed the dog every now and then. But when we ask them to take care of their brother while their dad and I go out to do errands, buy groceries, or attend meetings and media events, they can be trusted to do that job well.
We have been maid- and yaya-free for the past three years and we’re doing fine. Honestly, I feel more confident now when leaving the house with only the kids there than having someone else look after them. I believe our circumstances have taught my boys to be more resilient and independent. Like their dad, whom I so appreciate for being hands-on, I hope our kids would also become thoughtful husbands someday who won’t expect their wives to do everything around the house.
I may feel overwhelmed and utterly exhausted with house chores and writing deadlines most of the time, but I wouldn’t trade places with anyone else. I am grateful for where, and who, I am now.–Ruth Manimtim-Floresca
Photo by Joshua Harris on Unsplash
