by rossanahead | Jul 11, 2011 | career, woman
By Denise Congco
What do I dream of? What do I really want? Simple things, really: something to do, someone to love, and something to stand for.
I know that a stable job is still important to me. I know I have an innate talent to create something out of nothing, which in my industry means creating a marketing campaign with limited, if not zero budget. I know I enjoy making people feel beautiful.
Actually, I was already doing the things that gave me pure joy: marketing and makeup! I just had to find a company that would allow me to do both. I waited for the right job interview to come my way, not going to those that I knew wouldn’t allow me to explore my two passions. I had to stick to my vision! Soon enough, the perfect job offer came. I accepted and am now enjoying every bit of it. Plus, I have wedding makeup gigs every weekend! I am enjoying the best of both worlds!
Asked to describe who I want to meet in my Friendster account, I wrote “someone to hold hands and see the world with.” And I am happy to say that I have met that person. Gaining self-confidence allowed me to share myself again with someone I adore, respect, and believe in.
Little by little, I found myself getting closer to that self vision I created when I was down and out. It was not an easy feat. And up to now, there are days when I feel like I’m taking a few steps back. But then there are good days when the dream feels so close.
All those months of searching led me to several conclusions: Nobody should define who you are but yourself. Come to terms with what makes you sad, angry, or frustrated. Envision the life that you want to lead and then do everything in your power to attain it. Every day, decide and choose to create your own happiness!
Yes, I lost everything. But after all the hurt and the pain, I found myself.
by rossanahead | Jul 10, 2011 | career, woman
By Denise Congco
2009 was the year I thought I lost everything. I quit my job, ended a relationship, and cut ties with my best friend of 20 years. I thought it was too much to go through in one year. But today, two years later, I realized that those things had to happen so that I can find myself.
When the source of your happiness comes from external factors, whether it’s your career or a loved one, you sometimes lose touch of who you really are. You let yourself be judged by other people. You get affected by what they say.
But when you let go of all that, you start asking the right questions: Who are you when stripped of material things, friends, job, and boyfriend? What are your deal-breakers and non-negotiables? What are the causes you will die fighting for? If it’s self-fulfillment you’re after, what would you rather do?
At the time, I had all but lost my self-esteem. I had to figure out a way to love ME again. I took a vacation. I traveled around Asia and somehow gained a new zest for life. The world truly is my oyster!
Traveling gave me a different perspective on life. I realized that what might have been important to me was not necessarily relevant to the ice cream man in Singapore or the sales lady in Bangkok. What may be a big deal to you may not even matter to your neighbor, so what’s the fuss? If you failed at something, it doesn’t mean you can’t pick up the pieces, take all the life lessons that moment has taught you, and start anew somewhere, somehow.
But how do I love ME again? I found out that when you rephrase the question, it becomes easier to answer: What don’t I love about myself? My answers ranged from the most trivial to the most profound. I had a problem with my weight, my inability to say no, my tendency to lose myself in a relationship, and my lack of a dream.
So I zeroed in on the easiest: the weight issue. I read everything I could find online. I consulted a doctor and found out that I had polycystic ovaries, which made it doubly hard for me to lose weight. Apparently, my hormones have practically been making me obese. I had to treat that first and then searched high and low for that one exercise program that would suit my lifestyle. Because of the Tracy Anderson Method and a clear vision to reach my ideal weight, I managed to go down to a size 4 from a size 12! From large to small!
I got so excited because that kind of happiness emanated from within me! It was the result of sheer hard work and perseverance. It started from accepting the fact that I had a problem and facing it head on.
Next on the list: my inability to say no. I figured that being gracious is different from letting yourself be taken advantage of. I suppose that when you lose everything, you gain courage. A regained sense of self will give you the confidence to say no to something you don’t feel like doing. That same confidence will make you proud of who you are and what you have become! That solves problem number three: my tendency to lose myself in a relationship. By knowing what I hated about myself and doing something about it, I solved two problems at once!
[To be continued]
by rossanahead | Jul 7, 2011 | Mari-an Santos, woman
By Mari-An Santos
One of our household traditions is to clean out the closets at least twice a year. This not only means taking out clothes that no longer fit us (whether it’s for the happy reason that one lost weight or the undesirable horror that one has gained so much), but also getting rid of scuffed shoes, peeling bags, unused cosmetics, and old magazines. We pile them in boxes, bring them out to the corridor, and whisked away to people who my parents think might need them.
The exercise is always cathartic. Going through pairs of jeans that used to fit snugly brings back memories of gimmicks with friends during more carefree times. Discarding old magazines elicits laughter over former crushes and fashion trends in the dusty, faded pages. Fishing out old receipts or photos and other memorabilia from the corners of boxes or at the bottom of bags is always nostalgic.
It feels like cobwebs are being cleared not only in my room, but also in the attic of my brain. Though not completely forgotten, things that remind us of the past, distant or not so distant they may be, bring about a wave of emotions.
In the process, we make room for new clothes and new magazines, and more space for our things to “breathe.” Unloading boxes full of memories does not diminish or erase the experiences related to them. In truth, they are made richer than if they had simply been left inside boxes unopened, fading away with time, and crumbling over age.
by rossanahead | Jul 6, 2011 | children, family, parenting, Ruth M. Floresca, woman
By Ruth M. Floresca
“I don’t think I can, or will ever attempt to, do that!” I thought again and again in between gasps of awe and wonder at the mind-blowing feats being performed on stage during Cirque du Soleil’s Varekai.
It amazes me that there are people like them willing to risk bodily harm for the sake of art. On the other hand, if there are no brave individuals like them, breathtaking shows like Varekai wouldn’t be here today.
Still, I prefer to be engaged in activities that won’t require me to exert too much effort that may cause me physical aches and pains. I guess this is probably why I am a bit wary every time I’m asked to do certain forms of exercise hahaha. Thankfully, my adventurous spirit usually overcomes my fears and I get persuaded to give things a try.
But I have my limitations. I refuse to have anything to do with activities that involve heights without any security straps involved. Years ago, I trekked up a mountain and to the edge of a waterfall in Puerto Galera with hubby and our friends. All of them jumped to the cool waters below. I chose to scramble back down the steep ravine holding on to protruding rocks and trailing vines, all the while scolding my husband for coercing me to come with them in the first place.
We all have strengths and weaknesses. Among my kids, two can be convinced to try daring rides in amusement parks while one will always refuse to do so regardless of the heckling he gets from his brothers. In terms of abilities, one prefers doing artworks cooped up in their room rather than go biking outside with his siblings.
I let them be. I am of the belief that parents can only do so much to influence their kids in finding their passions. We just have to wait and see what paths they’ll choose for themselves. They will discover their niche and discern where they’re really good at sooner or later.
As for me, I am open to trying out new stuff every now and then. Just don’t make me do sky jumping or swing from a flying trapeze. I leave those to people who really love doing them.
by rossanahead | Jul 3, 2011 | career, children, Education, Rossana Llenado, woman
By Rossana Llenado
In my business, I am surrounded by young people. Our students are young. Our tutors are young. And my staff, most of them are in their 20’s. Although I am just in my early 40’s, I am already one of the oldest in our company. This to me is a blessing because there is nothing like the passion and enthusiasm of youth to get any sort of enterprise moving.
Jose Rizal was only 26 when he published Noli Me Tangere. Andres Bonifacio was only 29 when he helped established the Katipunan. At the recently concluded convention of the International Association of Business Communicators in San Diego, California, of which I took part, the keynote speaker was Jonah Lehrer. He talked about the philosophy behind the decision-making process. There he was in his polo shirt and jeans, talking to us about the inner workings of the mind, and he is just barely 30!
The young are fearless. There is no challenge big enough not to be conquered. The young are free. There are no boundaries to the way they think and act. The young are idealistic. The way they throw themselves at what they believe in is simply amazing.
That’s why I always sit up and listen whenever I hear a young person speaking—whether it’s a staff member proposing something that we’ve never done before or one of my kids giving his two cents on a movie we just saw.
The youth, they are the future. And that’s why I am privileged to be working for and with them.
by rossanahead | Jun 30, 2011 | children, Karen Galarpe, parenting, woman
By Karen Galarpe
So there I was at midday today, doing brisk walking on the treadmill. Before I knew it, the 15 minutes warm-up walk was done and it was time to lift some weights. No, not the heavy kind, but more like 5-pound dumbbells for arm curls and 15 pounds on the lat machine. After that, 2 sets at the total abdominal machine to hopefully tone those abs. Then some time on the leg press, and maybe 10 minutes at the stationary bike.
It’s Monday, and it’s gym day, and again I am paying for the privilege of sweating in an air-conditioned gym. I marvel at how time flies—it’s been more than a year now? Wow!
I’ve been a gym dropout for a couple of times over the past 16 years (or since my son was born). I’d go for a few months, then drop out, thinking I can do it on my own and exercise at the UP Diliman Oval, but always, always, there’s something more urgent to do. So I’ve had a pretty much sedentary life for most of the time.
More than a year ago, I went to Baguio with my good friend Jing Lejano [https://www.smartsuperwomen.com/category/jing-lejano/], and walking uphill on the street got me panting in like, 5 minutes. She said, “Kung ‘di ako fit, mas hindi ka fit.” [“If I’m not fit, then you’re so not fit!”] Don’t I know it!
When my son got interested in enrolling in a gym last year, I enrolled myself too. On the first day of my training, my trainer put me on the treadmill. The 15-minute time limit seemed like forever that he brought it down to 10. He also moved back my speed from 5.0 km/hr to 3.0 km/hr. I was exhausted. He said, “Buti na lang naisipan niyong mag-gym. Ang hina niyo pala.” [“It’s a good thing you decided to go to the gym. You’re weak already.”] OK, I know, I know.
Fast-forward to a year after, and today, I do 5.3 km/hr on the treadmill for 15 minutes if I don’t feel like pushing myself. I can lift light weights and walk faster than I used to. I also feel stronger, and walk with a spring in my step, I believe. The muscles? Hmm, getting firmer, although the abs may take another year to be flat (haha!).
I read somewhere that just 30 minutes of exercise a day can do wonders to one’s health. Thirty minutes! Surely you can spare 30 minutes a day, right? Or, OK, 30 minutes every other day at the minimum. Go flex those muscles, girl, and do it for a healthier you.
