by rossanahead | Jun 28, 2011 | career, children, family, Gina Abuyuan, parenting, woman
By Regina Abuyuan
Out of sheer frustration, I ranted about a certain celebrity in my Facebook account. When I posted it Friday night, it got 14 likes in one hour. Now, it’s got 51 likes. The fervor has slowed down, but it looks like it’s not stopping.
So what is it that’s gotten people so involved—maybe a better word would be “embroiled”—in my personal opinions? My opinion about Kris Aquino, that’s what, and her most recent quotable quote about being a single mom: “Madali maging single mother, kasi mababait ang mga anak ko.” [“It’s easy being a single mother, because my children are good.”]
Google it and you’ll see.
I don’t even have to go into details on why this statement offends so many.
She makes light of the most difficult “job” in the universe, glossing it over with her image of being a doting, hardworking mom with a healthy work-life balance. No one—not even married or partnered moms and dads, no matter how wealthy and successful they are—can claim parenting is easy. Up to a certain point, you’re in charge of shaping a person’s life, making sure he or she doesn’t turn into a serial killer or something. And her reason? Because her kids are “nice”? That’s like saying parenting is easy because one’s kids are thoughtless, emotion-less lumps of cake who don’t need attention and understanding and discipline.
She seems to have forgotten that her mother, Cory Aquino, was a single parent. I wonder what Tita Cory would have said if she heard her youngest say that. I can just imagine her hanging her head in disappointment, shaking it side to side, and sighing: “Hay, Kris. Where did Ninoy and I go wrong with you?”
by rossanahead | Jun 23, 2011 | career, Karen Galarpe, woman
By Karen Galarpe
I chuckled at the sight: one of my toenails in black currant polish. Suddenly I felt so out of character, and ready for adventure. The manicurist laughed with me, as I asked, “Won’t I look like a vampire?” Then I thought, why not? It’s time to try new shades, new things.
It was a lazy Sunday afternoon, and I tried out this salon on West Avenue after I found no parking space at the salon I usually go to. New salon, new hair stylist, new polish–yeah, bring it on.
I have a job that is kinda stressful. We’re in full adrenaline rush mode when there’s breaking news, like the Japan earthquake and tsunami last March, or the Halalan national elections last year. On other days, we’re still in some kind of rush, as we need to write, edit, and publish news as they happen.
So when other things come into play at work (changes, et cetera), it can get more stressful than usual. My hyperacidity kicks in, I can’t eat, my back hurts, and I get bone tired at the end of the day.
But I’ve been through other stressful times, and found that there are things one can do to bust that stress. Here are my tried-and-tested stress busters:
1. Treat yourself to something yummy. For me, sometimes it just takes a kiwi Sprite float, a great tea drink, barako coffee, or dark chocolates to lift my spirits.
2. Phone a friend. Or text, tweet, send a Facebook message. I love that my close friends are ready to listen to me, or if they’re busy, will get back to me when they have time to hear me out.
3. Go to a salon. Pamper yourself. Try a new shade of nail polish like I did.
4. Read a book that’s not for work or about the work that you do. Discover the sheer pleasure of reading and getting lost in someone’s world or finding some truths you can apply in your life.
5. Go for a massage. It’s painfully liberating to have those little hard knots of muscle at the back loosened. A foot spa also does wonders. You come out relaxed.
6. Tune in to some classical or soothing jazz music. Best done on the way home after a long hard day.
7. Pray. Yes, it works. And we can talk to Him like we talk to our close friends.
8. See what’s beyond you. There’s a whole world out there, one where you’re not the center of the universe. Just last week, the man who usually watches my car while parked outside asked me if I knew of a place where his nephew can go have a CT scan for free. There are many people in need around us.
9. Read the Bible. A chapter a day is food for the soul. Start with the gospel of John, or Psalms, or Proverbs.
10. Let go. Face it, there are just some things you can’t control. So let go, sip that coffee at an outdoor table in a cafe, feel the breeze, and watch the world go by.
by rossanahead | Jun 21, 2011 | Education, family, Mari-an Santos, woman
By Mari-An Santos
When we were growing up, my mother assigned us to do certain chores on weekends and during our summer break.
I learned how to clear the dining table and how to wipe it clean without leaving any crumbs or leftover food on the floor.
I learned how to wash the dishes with my mother first demonstrating how it’s supposed to be done: Rinse the dirty dishes in a basin of water. With a soapy sponge, wipe the glasses, plates, and utensils clean. Rinse everything thoroughly.
Every so often, my mother would come around to inspect my work. She would look closely, sniff, and then slide her fingers down the dishes. She would point out a tiny fleck of rice still sticking to a bowl or the slippery, still-soapy side of a glass. I had to wash those items again, of course. It took some time before she was completely satisfied with my work.
I learned how to care for wooden floors, sweeping, buffing, and waxing them. I found out which direction it was best to sweep with the broom and how to angle the dust pan so that my efforts did not go to waste.
I learned to cook and bake too. When we made brownies or cookies, my mother would let me lick the spoons clean. The reward, of course, was getting to eat whatever we had made.
I also had to clean the bathroom, which was my least favorite chore. Of course, I knew that someone had to make sure that the toilet was spic and span, I just couldn’t accept the fact that I had to dig my hands deep into wherever our bodily waste went on a daily basis.
Growing up, I did not understand why I had to do any of these things, especially when we had helpers who could do it. But when I started living alone, I realized the value of such hands-on knowledge. Because of my mother’s diligence, I could take care of a house and myself. It is one of the most enduring lessons that I learned from my parents, and I will be forever grateful.
I still don’t like cleaning the toilet though.
by rossanahead | Jun 19, 2011 | children, family, parenting, Ruth M. Floresca, woman
By Ruth M. Floresca
“It’s your government-given right!” I’d always point out every time one of my sons tells me a tricycle or jeepney driver hadn’t given him the correct change.
It irritates me that we have a law indicating that students are entitled to a 20% discount on public transportation fares and yet there are still drivers who choose to ignore this directive. I am all for paying the right amount for fares and services. I even return money to drivers and bus conductors every time I receive extra change. But I am not in favor of having my kids pay more than what they are supposed to.
Three of my boys take public transport when they go to school. I really dislike it when drivers insist that students don’t get fare discounts when there are no classes. Even though I still don’t get why not (since their status as students doesn’t change just because it’s Saturday, Sunday, or a holiday), I pay full fare for my boys when we ride PUVs on those times and during summer vacations just to avert unreasonable arguments.
But now that classes have resumed, I remind my boys to insist on their rights. “Imagine poor kids who can’t afford to pay regular fares. If you let drivers think it’s OK with you if they don’t give you the correct change, you are doing a disservice to many other kids, especially those whose parents can’t afford to pay extra.”
I also tell them to compute how much they’ll be able to save in just a week, in a month, and in a year if they pay the discounted amount every day. That got them thinking, particularly my firstborn who’s already in college and is more conscious nowadays when it comes to budgeting his allowance.
To avoid hassles as much as possible, hubby and I save the coins we get as change whenever we go out. This way, we can give our kids the exact fares they should hand over to drivers so they won’t have to insist getting the right change every time they pay.
I believe that what I’m doing is one way to teach financial responsibility. Alas, honesty should go both ways. Still, it’s always better to stay upright on our end even if there are others who refuse to do so. While they are young, I want my kids to always remember that.
by rossanahead | Jun 17, 2011 | children, Education, Gina Abuyuan, parenting, woman
By Regina Abuyuan
I usually dread the mornings. I hate the feeling of drowsiness, not being able to think right because you’re just too goddamn sleepy. When I’m sleepy, I turn grouchy and uncoordinated; an ill-tempered puppet.
But it’s school time again, and while my partner D has taken the initiative to make the kids’ breakfasts and drive them to school every morning, I sometimes feel guilty that he has to do all the dirty morning work…so I gather up all my willpower to drag myself out of bed and join him and the family for “breakfast.”
We have no stay-in help, so breakfast is a no-fuss affair. No table settings, no side dishes of atchara or elaborately sliced fruit. This particular morning, it’s ham sandwiches, all piled up on a single plate. Baon is packed the night before (that I do). Sounds efficient, yes? Like everything would go by without a hitch? Not really. Either one of the twins has a hard time waking up, gets absentminded while eating his sandwich and loses it to our new Labrador puppy. Another forgets to turn off the faucet after brushing his teeth. Then the other wears his shirt the wrong way. Their older sister is getting grumpy; she’ll be late if the twins carry on like this. Eventually, it’s over. Schoolbags are piled on little shoulders. Kisses are exchanged. They’re in the car and off to school.
I sit alone at the dining table. Crumbs litter the surface; little bits of wheat bread and egg are scattered on the floor, and already I can imagine the ants’ antennae perk up, a contingent of soldier arms ready to pick up the morsels. I pick up their leftovers, put them in my mouth and chew slowly.
Amidst the mess, the whole house is quiet. Cool, not-yet-so-bright, and silent. I’m alone. For the first time in almost a week, I feel I can breathe.
At that moment, I feel like a different person. I feel no tension and anxiety, and a thought crosses: I love mornings.
Let’s see how long that’ll last.
by rossanahead | Jun 14, 2011 | career, children, family, Karen Galarpe, parenting, woman
By Karen Galarpe
About a year ago, I was trying to schedule a lunch date with two of my classmates back in high school. We were all working for the same company, and I figured we should have a mini-reunion right in our neck of the woods.
It should have been easy to set a date then, I thought, but it proved otherwise. MG had to pick up her daughter from a tutorial center and bring her home, right around her lunch break. MC had to make a run to her sons’ school to pick them up and bring them home, before returning to work. Every day.
Finally, we found a common free lunch hour (after weeks of scheduling). After talking about high school and work, we got to talk about our lives as career moms.
True, it may be difficult, but bringing our kids to and from school is a joy in itself, we agreed. The extra time to bond with our kids is priceless as we get to talk about the serious and not so serious stuff while on the road.
We hear it first from our kids what happened in school, what project they need to do, and what they did with their friends.
We learn more about their world at the exact time they feel like talking about their day. More often than not, they’re kinda tired by the time we get home from work that they’re not in the mood for much talk.
I know not many moms have the privilege of driving their kids to and from school every day, but should you have the chance, take it. Kids grow up fast; make time to be with them.
