by rossanahead | Oct 13, 2011 | children, family, grandparenting, parenting
By Julie Javellana-Santos
Two weeks ago, my brothers, sisters and I threw a big bash for my mother’s 75th birthday. It was not a surprise party since we took turns trying to convince her to come to the Philippines for the party with her American husband. Nevertheless, she was surprised, and so was her husband.
Talk about the party actually began in 2010 when my mom came to the Philippines for her annual Christmas vacation. “Why not have a 75th birthday party in September?” we asked her, pointing out that the fare was half what they usually cost at Christmastime.
One of my sisters already said she would spend for my mom’s fare. Still, it took some time for her to agree — only after my other sister in Singapore said she would fork out the fare of our new stepfather.
We prepared a buffet party for her complete with two lechons (roasted pigs) and several birthday cakes. Drinks were overflowing and the atmosphere was not dampened even by the threat of a typhoon.
There were even dance instructors (my mother’s request!) to help my mom and her guests boogie the night away. Her grandchildren also prepared an enjoyable song number for their lola, complete with specially mixed minus one music.
To cap it all, we helped my brother put together a special audio-visual presentation, complete with pictures of her before she was married and bloopers!
For several Sundays we got together to take videos for the AVP and so that the kids could practice. The party was not a surprise, but this was!
I hope that when I am 75 (or around that age anyway), my daughters will treat me the same way we did my mom. She was so touched with the attention we showered on her, throwing her a themed party and all. But surprisingly, her American husband was even more touched.
In America, when kids grow up they move out of the house and seldom visit their parents at all. Most actually send their parents to an old folks’ home. My mom met her new husband when she was vacationing in Florida ten years after my father died. He has several children who are all married and have their own families, whom he never sees.
Little wonder he was amazed that we get together a lot, and that my sisters even spent for his and my mom’s airline tickets. That’s something quite rare, almost unheard of, in America.
Unlike most people, I do not dread growing old. Children follow the example set by their parents, and if the party is any indication, my children will treasure me as much as we brothers and sisters do my mother.
by rossanahead | Oct 11, 2011 | children, Education, Karen Galarpe, parenting
By Karen Galarpe
I craned my neck to scan the crowd for a familiar face. So many high school seniors have been spilling out onto the sidewalk on Taft Avenue in Manila right after they took the De La Salle University College Entrance Test (DLSUCET) last Sunday night. Some of them were smiling, while some looked serious.
“Ang hirap naman ng exam! Puro word problems! Mas madali pa ang ACET!” one guy said, talking to someone on his cellphone. (The ACET refers to the Ateneo College Entrance Test.)
“Madali lang. Mas mahirap pa ang ACET, pero pinakamahirap ang UPCAT,” said my son when we finally met up. (UPCAT, on the other hand, is the University of the Philippines College Admission Test.)
I found it sweet to see a mom smiling from ear to ear as her daughter was telling her something. And then there was the touching scene where a daughter held on to her dad’s arm, a latte in the other hand, while they walked. She was talking about the exam animatedly, while her dad beamed from ear to ear.
This has been the pattern, more or less, for the past few months as many college hopefuls have started taking those competitive college entrance exams at the country’s top universities. Parents would anxiously wait right outside exam venues, and would be all ears to find out how their children did.
At the University of the Philippines (UP) campus last August, thousands of parents and family members (with some of them even bringing their pet dogs as well) congregated outside UPCAT venues throughout the campus as the examinees went out. The anxiety written on parents’ faces would change to pride and joy as soon as their sons and daughters emerged from the gates.
The same scenario was seen in the next exam, that of the University of Santo Tomas (UST) that same month. Then it was replicated at the Ateneo de Manila University last September and DLSU last Sunday. Before the month is over, UST will have its second UST Entrance Test (USTET) for high school seniors.
If students are nervous about these tests, so are their parents, believe me. Every parent wants only the best for her child, and a good education, they say, is the best legacy a parent can give. Of course, most parents want their children to get the best university education there is, thus the shared anxiety during this season.
Come January next year, expect to see ecstatic status messages on Facebook from parents of college hopefuls as universities start releasing the lists of those who got admitted to their campuses. To see one’s child get into the university of his dreams – that would be a milestone along with the great moments of all time: the day a child made his first step, celebrated his first birthday, went to school for the very first time, attended his first prom, and graduated from high school. Someday, in the far far future, we hope, would be the first relationship, the wedding, and the first grandchild for us. But that seems like light years away. For now, there is college, and so we wait.
by rossanahead | Oct 9, 2011 | Ruth M. Floresca, woman
By Ruth Manimtim-Floresca
I watched “Love, Loss, and What I Wore”, an off-Broadway show, when it was staged a couple of months
ago here in Manila. It’s about the stories of different women and how they lived their lives. Many ladies
in the audience identified with almost all the topics but one, in particular, made me laugh out loud
because it totally applies to me.
The segment was about bags and how they seem to become dark, terrible, gnawing holes you have to
put your hand deep inside of just to find what you are looking for. I am one of those women who prefer
using big bags because we seem to “need” a lot of things to bring with us whenever we’re on the go.
And so, for such a long time, I keep finding myself digging (and wasting a lot of time) inside my big bags
looking for a ringing cell phone, my folding umbrella when it suddenly rains, or my coin purse when I
have to pay jeepney fare. I tried switching to smaller bags for a while but it was frustrating to leave stuff
behind and realize later that I should have brought them along in the first place. So I went back to using
big bags … and digging for stuff.
For weeks, I’ve passed by a bag organizer store in the mall where I frequently shop for groceries. I
avoided browsing the displays because I was doubtful if I really, really need one. Besides, I was watching
my budget and was mindful of my “needs” and “wants” lists.
But last weekend, I finally gave in. I saw a design that caught my eye so I went closer to the shelves
and looked. The bag organizer I liked has a wide bottom, numerous pockets of different sizes stitched
all around both inside and outside the bag, and a sturdy handle which would make it easy to transfer
everything to another bag.
After some hesitation, I bought it. When my husband saw me unwrapping it later, I heard the usual,
exasperated question, “What’s that this time?” I explained how the bag works and proceeded to
transfer all the contents of my big bag into the organizer’s large and small compartments.
When I finished, even I was amazed how neat everything looked inside my big bag. Now, a few days
since I started using the organizer, I found that I don’t spend a lot of time anymore looking for objects
inside my bag because I could clearly where each item is and immediately zero in on the one I want to
get.
I commend whoever thought of making this useful bag inside a bag. I’d readily bet it’s a lady. After all,
only a woman would understand what other women go through and the organizer bag is definitely
something a lot of other ladies I know need. Necessity is truly the mother of invention!
by rossanahead | Oct 6, 2011 | environment
By Romelda C. Ascutia
Holding a dog leash in one hand and a pooper scooper in the other, I took our pet dog for his usual nightly exercise. I happened to look up as we were walking along the neighborhood and saw a small circle of LEDs on the awning of one of the houses.
Curious, I inched closer to try and make it out, then recognized what it was: a closed-circuit television (CCTV) camera. I suddenly felt self-conscious staring up at it, fearing someone was staring back at me, and moved on quickly.
These CCTV systems are an amazing invention. They have granted us an almost godlike omnipresence. It used to be that you wonder what people were doing when no one was looking. Now you can find out discreetly. It used to be a comforting thought knowing that no one was around. Now you wonder if someone is watching your every move when you think you are alone.
I sometimes look up while shopping at the grocery store and try to guess where the security cameras are. But the thing is, these gadgets can be practically invisible. It can be hidden inside innocuous-looking clocks, or behind bland walls or pseudo mirrors.
On one hand, the advent of surveillance cameras is a good thing. They help the police catch criminals by identifying faces or replaying what actually transpired when no witnesses were around—or want to come out. In the news, you see instances of how invaluable these CCTV cameras are. Recently a couple of government employees were caught opening a package sent via post to pilfer the money hidden inside a cell phone.
CCTV monitors lay bare the things that are done under a veil of covertness. It shows how a salisi gang fleeces a distracted victim in an Internet shop, how a child is kidnapped in a busy mall, or how a caregiver routinely slaps and kicks the elderly ward he is caring for at home.
On the other hand, the news images are disturbing, shocking. You see Death choke, stab, or shoot someone in grainy images that are not in a movie but in real life. The victim will not stand up after he has been gunned down. The blood on the floor is not ketchup. Will this make us even more inured to the violence and mayhem around us?
The use of CCTV cameras is fast becoming a necessity. I myself am thinking of installing one outside our house after the spate of akyat bahay incidents in our subdivision. But I fear their use is open to abuse and wish it is more closely regulated.
For good or bad, it seems we’ve entered the domain of George Orwell’s Big Brother. Fast becoming a thing of the past are the precious days of privacy and anonymity. So watch your back.
by rossanahead | Oct 4, 2011 | parenting, woman
By Julie Javellana-Santos
Without my daughter, the 40-minute commute to work seemed longer than usual this morning. I felt lonely and deserted traversing the kilometers between my home and the school where I work and she studies. Up until last June, however, I had been going to work alone. It was only when she began going to the college where I worked that we “bonded” while commuting.
The long (not that long) train ride was most conducive to chatting about inconsequential and mundane things. Things like the state of her wardrobe, how her blockmates annoyed her, the books she wanted to buy and the fast food she wanted to sample on a daily basis.
Our conversations inevitably turned to more serious matters — how she was getting low scores in Math but which she vowed to make up for with higher scores in English and Literature and how she was enjoying college.
It was during those times that we talked about my health too, and how I felt about my job.
There were also times when nary a word was spoken by either of us. The only sound she made would be the rustling of the innumerable papers she had to read for class.
Midway through the train ride, she would always lean her head on my shoulder to take a short nap and catch up on her sleep. By virtue of her larger size, this sometimes made my back ache, but what the heck, anything for my “baby.”
My “baby” is now living temporarily with my sister, whose house is closer to her college. As school is not far away, she hopefully will have more time to study. And I, I will just have to learn to live with commuting alone, having these conversations in my mind.
Time has flown so fast from when she was a babe in my arms to one stumbling through her first steps. I realize that soon enough I will have to say goodbye on a more permanent basis so this temporary separation is a “dry run.”
Yesterday she dropped by my office because she had forgotten her vitamins at home and it was all I could do to keep myself from hugging her. I now understand why my mother visited me often at my own flat.
My feelings are also silly because she will only be away to study for her final exams next week.
The week after, she will be back home for her semestral vacation. And then the new semester will start, and we will be commuting together again, taking those long train rides together again and chatting about inconsequential things again.
