by rossanahead | Sep 18, 2011 | environment, family, home, woman
By Romelda C. Ascutia
Contentment infuses me as I sit in our front porch sipping hot morning tea. On the breakfast table is a small aquarium with a couple of tiny fish swimming. Against the wall hangs the birdcage housing clucking lovebirds, and by my feet lies our pet dog.
Over the past few weeks I have been channeling my inner domestic goddess, engrossed in transforming our modest house into my family’s ideal hangout.
I have long wanted to decorate the interiors, but office work prevented me. To me the house felt austere—serviceable but not welcoming. And although the situation filled me with dissatisfaction, it was tolerable because I was away at work most of the time. Now that I am a freelance editor working out of the house, I want my home to be more inspiring and embracing.
So began Project: Home Sweet Home.
I went into this activity diffidently with modest ambitions. My first step was to buy a fishbowl and two goldfish. The next day, one fish was dead, and the other soon followed. I replaced the fishbowl with a small aquarium for more space to swim, and bought smaller fish (the saleslady said they were rosy barbs) and some accessories.
My second step was to go to a mall sale and buy synthetic potted flowers (buy one-take one basis), which I placed strategically in our porch, living room, and dining/kitchen area. I wanted but couldn’t afford the imitation bamboo sticks even at their discounted price. I later encountered an ambulant vendor who was selling them for 80 percent less. After a little haggling, I bought a bundle and placed it in the corner near the TV set.
My next move was to give the lovebirds a better environment. The poor things had been languishing in the laundry area in the back of the house for years, and were regularly terrorized by the neighborhood cats. I transferred them to the front porch, perched high beyond reach of their predators.
And just a couple of days ago I purchased different houseplants and arranged them by the house entrance.
Now I feel not only a domestic goddess but also an Earth Mother. I’ve rescued our lovebirds from a life of neglect and terror. The little barbs are alive and lively—so far. (I’ll probably graduate to a bigger aquarium if they don’t make it.) As for the houseplants, I’m planning to buy nice pots for them, and I’m all excited to find out whether I have a green thumb or not.
by rossanahead | Sep 15, 2011 | career, family, grandparenting, Mari-an Santos, woman
By Mari-An Santos
My maternal grandmother is 96 years old. She has led a very full life and is actually still very strong. More importantly, she is also very lucid.
She was a teacher all her life. At 19, she started teaching at a schoolhouse in a small town in Mindanao. Her job had her traveling for long distances to get to work every day to remote locations. She eventually became a public school principal and that’s how she met my grandfather, who was a Schools Division Supervisor.
She speaks and writes in Visayan, Chavacano, Spanish, English, and Tagalog. Even now, she’s a voracious reader. Hearing her recount details of her exciting life is like watching an exciting movie.
She tells of how some of her first pupils were older than she. Being farmers’ sons, they could not yet read or write very well even as teenagers. Then, they would also need to help their parents with soil preparation, planting, and eventually, harvesting the fields.
She narrates how she had to come to Manila to pursue higher education, traveling all the way from southern Philippines to the nation’s capital. It was a time so far removed from all the present-day conveniences of rapid travel and automobiles.
She even recounts how she aimed the barrel of a shotgun at my late grandfather one night when she had had enough and gave him an ultimatum: stop his philandering ways or say goodbye. He chose the former. He still survived years beyond that and saw his daughters grow up. But he passed away due to a heart attack not long after he retired from government service.
When I was a child and my grandmother would visit us from the province, she would busy herself with either making rosaries or translating the Bible into her native Chavacano. During breaks in her “work” she would go into the kitchen and make jams or cook snacks like empanada.
Later on, she would take on a project to compile a family tree, tracing from her roots of Spanish migrants to the present generation—with cousins dotting the globe. This is her life’s work that she has, thus far, not seen come into fruition. She has asked the help of some other relatives, but to date, the task is not yet completed.
I used to notice her, poring over her big manila papers, drawing and writing to complete the project. When I approached her to “mano”, she would look up and smile long enough to say “God bless you”, before resuming her work. I wondered at her perseverance then.
She recently had a minor accident in the bathroom. Because she had a slight fracture, she is now confined to a wheelchair. She finds it difficult to feed herself and does not talk much.
Somehow, this sudden change in her attitude has also changed us who are around her. Now, I have decided to take up where she has left off to complete even just a fraction of the family tree project she loved so much. I only hope that I can competently pick up from where she left off, and at last, present her with a project fulfilled just as she had envisioned.
by rossanahead | Sep 13, 2011 | children, Education, family, Karen Galarpe, parenting
By Karen Galarpe
Back when my son was in preschool and the early grades, I would try to rush home early, and beg off from after-work activities to make way for “Homework Time.”
That was the time I reserved on weekdays to help my son with his homework, and if there wasn’t any, to make him answer reviewers I would make myself.
As the years went on, I trusted him to study on his own. But there were times when he and I agreed a tutor would help, such as during one summer he spent going twice a week at a tutorial center for high school math stuff.
He also attended a summer tutorial course this year to prepare for college entrance exams.
My friends who are also parents likewise believe in tutoring their children. Most of them take the time to help their kids with homework, and some of them have hired tutors when they couldn’t be there or don’t feel they’re up to the task.
Back when I was a student, tutoring was not the norm. Even parents did not take the time to teach and tutor their children.
Over the years, with more studies done on education, though, and parenting, too, experts have realized that children stand to benefit from tutoring.
One, it can help children keep up with their lessons and understand the subject better, according to the article “How to Know When It’s Time to Get Your Kid a Tutor” on parentingworld.net.
Two, tutoring can help a child who’s already excelling in the same subject. According to the aforementioned article, a child who already knows the subject matter being tackled in class will become bored and uninterested during class discussions. A tutor can teach him beyond what the class can offer and challenge him to keep on learning.
Tutoring provides that one-on-one mentor-mentee relationship, or at the least, a learning environment with a very small group. A student is free to ask questions and go at the pace he wants and needs.
When my son had that math tutorial a few years ago, he told me that his tutor was still a college student studying chemistry at the University of the Philippines. And though the tutor was not a math major, he knew his algebra and trigonometry and made it so much simpler than my son’s teacher in class did.
Sometimes we need a little help, and a tutor just might be the answer.
by rossanahead | Aug 30, 2011 | children, Education, family, parenting, Ruth M. Floresca
By Ruth Manimtim-Floresca
Recently, a newspaper article posted online caught the attention of many Filipinos and caused a lot of debates in cyberspace. The writer talked about preferring the English language because, according to him, “while Filipino may be the language of identity, it is the language of the streets. It might have the capacity to be the language of learning, but it is not the language of the learned.”
How sad that this person, who happened to be a Filipino, could belittle his own country’s mother tongue! Yes, it can’t be denied that we should know how to speak, read, and write in English because it serves its purpose when it comes to having a good education and better employment. But to point out that learning Filipino is only important because it is practical; that it is simply what you need to use when you are “forced” to relate to the tinderas, the manongs, and the katulongs of this world, is highly insulting.
I am not against children learning one or more languages. Learning other languages can have its advantages. In fact, since we now live in multicultural societies and are also citizens of the world, we need to be able to communicate with people from various geographical locations. Nevertheless, it is important for Filipinos to develop literacy in our mother tongue as well as take pride in the culture of the country we call home.
In my opinion, learning new languages should be viewed as a means to become more aware and respectful of other people’s beliefs, customs, and culture; not as a reason to turn one’s back to where one has come from. Parents thus need to encourage their kids to keep and improve literacy in our mother tongue while teaching them to respect other cultures too.
Here are some ways parents can promote Filipino literacy in their children:
- Even if you want your children to be fluent in English, don’t ban the use of Filipino in your home. For instance, avoid requiring house helpers to only speak to your children in English especially if the helpers are not well-versed in the foreign language in the first place.
- Spend time every day helping your child read and write in Filipino. I usually hear a lot of parents complain that their kids always get low grades in subjects that use the mother tongue. Why not do something more concrete about it?
- Expose your kids to high quality Filipino movies, TV shows, and children’s books written in Filipino. People who say there are no good Filipino films or shows apparently haven’t seen a Cinemalaya film or watched excellent documentary series like i-Witness or Storyline. Buy children’s books written by Filipino authors. Many of these come with both English and Tagalog versions in the same volume.
- Share stories of your childhood including traditions and customs you grew up with. Encourage children to ask questions and find out more interesting things to talk with you about.
- Have kids spend time with their grandparents for more stories. Periodically bring them to your family’s province and meet distant relatives. Visit historical sites around the country so they could learn our country’s origins first hand.
- Teach children old songs from different regions. Bring them to concerts (e.g. Ang Bagong Harana) and theater plays (e.g. Noli Me Tangere or Rizal X) with Filipino themes. Do not discourage them from listening to OPM music with Filipino lyrics because we have so many talented artists who write beautiful words and melodies.
Nelson Mandela once said, “If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his language, that goes to his heart.” Our native language connects us with our society’s culture and shapes our identity. It is one of the best instruments that preserve who we are as Filipinos. May we never forget that.
by rossanahead | Aug 18, 2011 | children, Education, family, Lyra Pore, parenting, woman
By Lyra Pore
“Mom, are you going to have another baby?”
“No.”
“How do you know?”
“We can’t afford another baby.”
“Mom, you don’t have to buy it! You just pop the baby out of your tummy!”
To my seven-year-old daughter, having a baby is but a simple matter. Several years ago when there were only two children in the family, she pointed to the empty seats around the dining table. “Maybe we should have another baby,” she said, “so someone can sit on that chair.”
Indeed we’ve had one more baby since she uttered those words. Not really to fill empty chairs in our dining room, but because we always found joy in having children around the house.
We broke the news to the girls in the park. “We’re having a baby,” their dad told them as we all sat around a picnic table next to the playground.
“Are they going to cut up your tummy in the hospital?” They asked. “Or are you going to pee and the baby comes out?”
“I’m going to pee,” I said. I’ve had two natural deliveries and was expecting the third to be the same.
“Is she going to have blond hair and blue eyes? Some of our classmates have blond hair.”
“We can’t have a blond-haired baby.”
“How come?”
“Well, Daddy and I are Filipinos and Filipinos have black hair.”
When the baby finally arrived, the girls came to visit us at the hospital. They looked at her lovingly as she slept in her bassinet.
“Can she speak English?”
“Not yet. Newborn babies just cry. They have some growing up to do before they can talk.”
“Can she eat sinigang?”
“Not yet. But someday she will.”
by rossanahead | Aug 16, 2011 | children, family, Jing Lejano, parenting, woman
By Jing Lejano
I breastfed all of my children. Yes, all four of them.
At the time, breastfeeding wasn’t the big thing that it is today. Still, I knew that I had to do it—something in my gut told me that breastfeeding was the way to go.
And so, in a span of six or seven years (I had my kids about two years apart), I always had a little babe suckling on my teat. And here’s what I learned from all those seemingly endless days and nights…
- Breastfeeding is still the best—and fastest—way to lose post-pregnancy weight. Forget about going on a diet. Breastfeeding your babe will help you shed those unwanted pounds. P.S. I was stick thin for most of those six or seven years.
- In the case of breastfeeding, size doesn’t matter. Just because you have big boobs doesn’t mean you’ll have lots of milk—and vice versa. I think milk production has more to do with supply and demand than anything else. Your breasts will produce as much milk as your baby needs, so it’s best to keep your baby suckling. If you do it less frequently, it’s sort of a signal to your body to produce less milk as well.
- Don’t ever forget to put on those nursing pads! When I started working, I’d sometimes forget to put on nursing pads. Lo and behold, I’d be in a meeting and I’d start feeling my milk come out, and I’d have to excuse myself and hurry to the bathroom. Boo!
- Gear up! When I say gear up, I mean get the proper underwear support. Your breasts are going to bloom like crazy. You have to give them proper support or else, it’s going to be such a pain.
- Yes, malunggay (moringa) helps! One of the first meals that my mom prepared for me after I gave birth was clam soup with lots of malunggay leaves. She told me that it would help increase my milk supply, and I believe it did. I also remember drinking lots of water then—I was always thirsty.
- Find the position that best suits you and your baby. Whether you’re sitting on your sofa or lying on the bed, you have to find that one position where you and your baby are most comfortable with—or else, it wouldn’t work.
- Make sure your baby feeds on both breasts. Otherwise, you’ll find the breast which hasn’t been completely drained aching. Ouchie!
- Your experience will be different with every child. Just because it was easy with your first child doesn’t mean it would be the same with the next. Every child is different; every breastfeeding experience is different. Don’t feel guilty if you’re having a hard time with your third child when everything went smoothly with the first two. That’s just the way it is.
- Some babies are just lazy. What can I say? Some babies just don’t like the experience all that much. OK, I might get some hate mail from fierce breastfeeding advocates, but when you’ve tried and tried for many days and many nights, and you could only make your baby suckle for a few minutes or so, don’t beat yourself up. Try pumping, putting your breast milk in a bottle, and then feeding baby. It’s the same thing.
- Don’t worry about how your breasts would eventually look like. When I was single, my breasts were firm and perky. When I got pregnant, they got big. When I started breastfeeding, the size of them just went crazy. But after breastfeeding my fourth child, I found my breasts, well, kind of depleted, and for a year or two, I felt like a flat-chested teenager. Today, I’m somewhere between my single and first pregnancy breasts—not so big, not so small, not as perky true, but just the size and shape I like. Coolness!
August is Breastfeeding Awareness Month.
