by rossanahead | May 26, 2011 | children, parenting, Ruth M. Floresca, woman
By Ruth Manimtim-Floresca
For the past couple of days, I have encountered several ungentlemanly men who seem to have no regard whatsoever for women. For instance, I rode a service van provided for event attendees by a very considerate PR company. After most of the passengers have gotten off, the last guy left forcefully “suggested” to the driver to drop him off at his office first despite the place being farther than my destination.
When he got out, he immediately walked away and left the van door open for me to close. I had to laugh when the driver said, “Buti sana kung gwapo, pwede pa sigurong maging bastos. Kaso, hindi!” It may be a little thing to some, not worthy of attention, but the action spoke volumes about the guy’s character. And I haven’t even told you the other things he did that irritated other passengers earlier.
Then there’s the waiter who kept serving food and drinks first to my male friend who’s seated beside me at a media event. There we were, two women at the table, and we had to wait for five minutes or more before the waiter came back to serve us.
It’s also sad to see women giving up their seats on a bus so that a pregnant lady, a mom with a small child, someone with a disability, or a really old person could sit while dozens of uncaring men stay put, pretending not to notice.
On the other hand, the past two days also found me in the company of considerate guys who opened doors for me, assisted me in getting on and off a boat, and insisted I get in line first at the buffet table. Those are the kind of men I want my sons to be like when they grow up! The kind of man their dad is to women he interacts with every day.
I hope that the good examples they see and the frequent reminders they’re given on practicing gentlemanly ways all the time will stick in my boys’ heads. I pray that those would help mold them into men whom women would be proud to know.
Chivalry is not yet dead. There are still a handful of boys and men who know how to pay respect to women. I just wish there are more of them.
by rossanahead | May 17, 2011 | children, Education, Karen Galarpe, parenting, woman
By Karen Galarpe
I was one of those who, growing up, almost always had some class to attend during summer vacation. There were many summers spent learning piano and the organ, and one time, when karaoke became ‘in’ in the 80s, I also enrolled in voice lessons in UP.
I remember a summer when my friend and I took tennis lessons, another summer I had driving lessons, and one brave summer day when I attended one jazz dance class. I never came back, convinced I am better off reading or writing about dance.
There was a time too that I took a speedreading and speech workshop, then ahem, a personality development course the next. Many years later, a lesson from that personality development course became handy as I taught my officemates how to eat a banana using a fork. My officemates thought I was crazy.
So when my son came along, he also got enrolled in summer activities throughout the years. At 3, he had his first summer course, a sort of preparation to nursery class (he finished toddler class earlier). After that, there were summers when he was enrolled in swimming, taekwondo, basketball, football, reading, and math.
As in my case, there were classes he refused to enroll in again the next summer. But looking back, those summer classes were worth it as they brought new experiences, new friends, new lessons learned.
The last class I attended for summer was two years ago, I think, a workshop on writing biographies.
Maybe I should finally take that cooking class. Or Pilates. Or chocolate making. Mmmm… the options are getting better.
![Why I Work]()
by rossanahead | May 14, 2011 | career, children, Education, family, parenting, Rossana Llenado, woman
By Rossana Llenado
rossana llenado
Women work for all sorts of reasons. For some, it is to pursue a lifelong passion. For others, it is to have that sense of self-fulfillment inherent in a job well done.
One of the reasons that I started Ahead Tutorial and Review Center 16 years ago was because I wanted to be able to manage my own time. I was a mother of twins, and leaving them in the hands of strangers was not acceptable. Going into the tutorial business seemed like a very good idea. Not only could I pursue my passion for teaching and molding young minds, I also get to keep an eye on my children.
Today, I have four children of my own, but thousands more that I could very well call my own. Yes, one of the great joys of being in the business of education is that you get the chance to meet all these wonderful children and see them grow up into young adults with purpose. You could see it in their eyes—that burning desire to learn and improve.
Nothing gives me greater pleasure than seeing a student shine—and I’m fortunate enough to have witnessed this many times over. A child would come to us, defeated because of failing grades, and then several months later, he has grown confident in his skills—and has improved his grades immensely.
And so, whenever faced with the everyday problems of raising four children and managing a company, I just picture that child who could now walk with his head held high.
by rossanahead | May 12, 2011 | children, family, Jing Lejano, parenting, woman
By Jing Lejano
On the way home with V the other night, she asked, “You don’t wake your kids up in the morning?” “No.” “Who wakes them up? “They wake up by themselves.” “Who makes their breakfast?” “They’re old enough to make their own breakfast.”
V gave me a look of utter surprise, as if I belonged to some other planet. She goes on to tell me that her mom still wakes her up in the mornings and fixes everybody breakfast. V is in her twenties.
D, who is in his thirties, also once told me that his mother makes sure that breakfast is ready for everybody. And I gave him a look of utter surprise, as if he belonged to some other planet.
Well, apparently, I am the one who belongs to a galaxy far, far away.
I don’t wake my kids up in the morning, but I can stay up with them all night. I don’t do breakfast, but I can cook Lasagna, Sisig, Pata Beans, and Chicken Pickle whenever I have the time and the inclination. I don’t do the laundry, but I work–although my work is on such a crazy schedule that it might see me wracking my brains one day and sleeping all day the next. I may not be able to attend each and every school-related activity but when I do, I am my child’s loudest cheer leader—much to his consternation. I may not be able to help them with all their schoolwork, but I hyperventilate whenever they get sick, and could hardly sleep unless something happens in the middle of the night. I can’t iron but hey, I can sing and I can dance.
There are all sorts of ways of being a mommy; this is mine.
by rossanahead | May 8, 2011 | children, family, mother's day, Rossana Llenado, woman
I’ve been a mother for almost 16 years, and I have to tell you that there have been good days and there have been bad days. There have been times when I’ve been overwhelmed with joy. And there have been times when I’ve been sickened with frustration.
What does it take to be a good mom? This is one question that I always ask myself. The basics are easy enough: feed them, clothe them, shelter them, provide them with good education, teach them about faith, and shower them with love. I make sure that they grow in a psychologically and financially stable environment so they can be free to explore their various hobbies, interests, and passions.
But as a mother of twin teen boys and two young girls, I ask myself, what does it take to be the best mom? That’s because I always value excellence in everything I do, especially when it comes to parenting. And so, I read books, learn from other parents, and pray for guidance.
But what I’ve learned through all those years is that I can only try my best. For example, my children say that I don’t spend enough time with them. But as far as I could tell, I spend all my non-working hours with them. We not only see plays and watch movies, we also engage in sports. They say I’m too strict when it comes to rules. But then, I am only doing so to instill a sense of discipline and responsibility in them. I try to make them realize that there are consequences to their actions—or inactions.
I’ve realized that there is no one way to raise a child. One child is different from the next. And so, what worked for Angel may not do so for Meggy. Although I also get complaints on that: “You’re unfair!”
And so I keep trying. I keep working at being the best mom I can be because when I see my four children, I know that all my efforts have been worth it.
by rossanahead | May 7, 2011 | career, children, family, Gina Abuyuan, mother's day, woman
By Gina Abuyuan
I recently did a story on Emerson Yao, managing director of the Lucerne Group. Of the third generation of a family of watch retailers, the transformation of the family business is credited to him and his brother Ivan. Now, Lucerne is more than just a retailer. It deals directly with over 50 watch houses, is known for its high profile tie-ups featuring the Philippines as a brand, and strong recall events.
Emerson and Ivan didn’t have a mentor. Their father passed away early. “I was just out of college. There was only one store at that time—my grandfather started it all. My dad was a very simple man. He just had one or two watches. I remember him only wearing one. When he passed away, he left us the store, and that’s it.
“But he taught us a lot of other stuff. Being thrifty, being nice to people, humility, and all that—those are the cornerstone of our success. My father worked seven days a week, 365 days a year. Every day he was in the shop. So when he passed away, that was the only way we knew how to run our business. So we followed him. Looking back, if not because of that kind of a mindset, we couldn’t get to where we are today.”
I was thinking the same thing just a few days ago: If it weren’t for my mom, I would probably be a half-assed, irresponsible good-for-nothing. Don’t get me wrong—there was indeed a stage of my life when I indeed did nothing but party, but being my mom’s daughter made sure I rose beyond and above that.
As early as I can remember, my mom, Lirio T. Abuyuan, was a worker. She was continuously striving to improve her career and her options. When we were young, she packed us all up and moved us all (including my dad) to Wisconsin, where she pursued a PhD. When my dad had to come back to the Philippines, she became a de facto single mom—and having been one as well, I can say she did a pretty good job.
When we came back to the Philippines, I remember her leaving every morning, looking smart in her tailored suits, pumps, and briefcase. I used to love running my hands up and down her stockinged legs, and told myself that someday, I’d have my chance to wear nice nylon stockings too.
She worked long hours but made sure she had time to tutor me and my sister, and eventually, my brother. She threw mean parties at home for her colleagues (she still does, occasionally, for family, and the spreads are always unique and memorable). While holding a relatively high position in government (Assistant Secretary of DENR), she outspokenly turned downed and showed her disgust at people who tried to bribe her. Boy, did she earn a lot of enemies for that—to retaliate, they spread nasty rumors about her, but she stood her ground. When I grew old enough to wear makeup and attend parties and balls, I didn’t have to bother to go to the salon—she would do my hair and makeup herself, and she did it so well that all my friends said she should have opened a salon.
Sure, my mom and I have been at loggerheads too many times than I care to count or recall. But that’s what happens when two strong women clash—and where did I get that strength? From her. That’s also what happens when a mother allows her daughter to think critically and argue her point. (As a mom, I’m learning this freedom is a double-edged sword when it comes to raising kids, but hey, I’d rather have them know how to make a case than just roll over and take it.)
Like Emerson Yao, I don’t know how else I would have gone about doing what I do, working the way I do, if I hadn’t seen my mom build her career and juggle being a mother, wife, and homemaker. People have asked me how I can have the energy to do so many things at the same time. I usually answer with a shrug. A few days ago, and as I write this, I have a concrete answer: because I saw my mom do it.
She’s still the champion, of course. I don’t even come close, considering my age. Aside from still working on projects for the private sector, she goes to the gym, goes ballroom dancing, has time for her derma, travel, takes her grandkids out, and is now developing her own brand of longganisa. Mental, I tell you. Absolutely mental.
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mother’s day article
