By Ruth Manimtim-Floresca
For the past couple of days, I have encountered several ungentlemanly men who seem to have no regard whatsoever for women. For instance, I rode a service van provided for event attendees by a very considerate PR company. After most of the passengers have gotten off, the last guy left forcefully “suggested” to the driver to drop him off at his office first despite the place being farther than my destination.
When he got out, he immediately walked away and left the van door open for me to close. I had to laugh when the driver said, “Buti sana kung gwapo, pwede pa sigurong maging bastos. Kaso, hindi!” It may be a little thing to some, not worthy of attention, but the action spoke volumes about the guy’s character. And I haven’t even told you the other things he did that irritated other passengers earlier.
Then there’s the waiter who kept serving food and drinks first to my male friend who’s seated beside me at a media event. There we were, two women at the table, and we had to wait for five minutes or more before the waiter came back to serve us.
It’s also sad to see women giving up their seats on a bus so that a pregnant lady, a mom with a small child, someone with a disability, or a really old person could sit while dozens of uncaring men stay put, pretending not to notice.
On the other hand, the past two days also found me in the company of considerate guys who opened doors for me, assisted me in getting on and off a boat, and insisted I get in line first at the buffet table. Those are the kind of men I want my sons to be like when they grow up! The kind of man their dad is to women he interacts with every day.
I hope that the good examples they see and the frequent reminders they’re given on practicing gentlemanly ways all the time will stick in my boys’ heads. I pray that those would help mold them into men whom women would be proud to know.
Chivalry is not yet dead. There are still a handful of boys and men who know how to pay respect to women. I just wish there are more of them.
haha there are men who are rude in a way that they ignore women, but there are men who are rude in a way that they make us feel so uncomfortable while pretending to be “chivalrous”. happens all the time when a taxi driver feigns concern when he’s just trying to hit on you and making the ride awkward.
when i was still pregnant with my son, i had to take a bus to laguna. unfortunately, it happened to be rush hour and i was forced to stand in the bus aisle. to my dismay, i ended up standing all the way to calamba and i got on the bus at magallanes! i join you in your advocacy by raising my own son to be a man who is respectful and considerate of women. and if i have a daughter, i will raise her to speak up for herself (as i should have done) and other women as well. thanks for sharing!