by rossanahead | May 2, 2011 | children, family, Karen Galarpe, parenting
By Karen Galarpe
It’s been a year since I went back to the gym, and throughout the past months, I get a kick whenever I would put on my special white shirt, hit the treadmill, and afterward lift those 5-pound dumbbells.
The special shirt is just a simple white tee given by my close friend Nancy, and it says “Super Mom.” It comes with its own S logo, much like the one in Superman’s costume.
Me, Super Mom? Yeah.
I’ll be the first to admit, though, that I’m no perfect mom.
I can’t cook well, nurture a plant, crochet, sew clothes, change a lightbulb, fix a leaking pipe, or patch a hole in the roof. I don’t even know how to make my own pesto sauce.
But I can make tacos (using taco seasoning mix), bring my son to school and pick him up when I can, workout beside him, try out new restaurants with him, and never leave his side at the hospital when he’s sick.
I can’t remember to buy all the things on my grocery list in my head, or remember the brand of batteries he prefers. But I can search for the perfect suit within our budget for prom night, and remember to have mosquito repellent and hand sanitizer available at all times.
I can’t teach him how to drive (he learned from others), but I can be there with him for any school activity: card-giving, PTC, program, family day, etc.
I can’t be all, or do all. But I can do some, and do it well.
I’m not perfect (only God is), but I’m one who would like to do her best (“be super”) in everything with God’s help.
I know many moms may feel the same way — we’re a bunch of Super Moms!
As Mother’s Day draws near, here’s a toast to all you Super Moms out there. We’re cool. We’re super!
by rossanahead | May 1, 2011 | career, Gina Abuyuan, parenting, woman
By Gina Abuyuan
I’m a WAHM—a Work At Home Mom. Aside from the assignments I work on at home, most of my time nowadays has been taken up by a book project, for which I go to my client’s home and we pore over her manuscript there.
I’m about to go crazy.
Understandably, I got a wonderful rush yesterday when I went out to my first meeting not situated in a structure with a sala, a kitchen, a bedroom, and a maid to call on when you need water. Finally! An environment with strangers! With food you had to pay for! And me actually caring for how I looked like!
Working from home does have its upsides—obviously, you get to spend more time with your kids and work without having to commute or dress up. On the other hand, it can be stressful, especially when homework needs coincide with deadlines, or clients are a-calling while the kids are causing a ruckus. It also keeps you more than a tad isolated from the outside world and other adults. So much so that a visit to the mall may seem like the most exciting thing to happen all week, and coffee with other grown-ups is something you want to last forever. A burnout isn’t far away if a WAHM doesn’t take care of herself.
How to prevent it? Some tips:
* Set a schedule, just like you would do if you were working in an office. Before or beyond 9 a.m. and 7 p.m., for example, is time for family. Working at home is for naught if you don’t get to enjoy what WAHMs have over regular working moms: getting more time with the kids. During your “off” hours, allow yourself to play. If needed, you can resume your work after the kids are asleep.
* Designate an errand day. Spend one day a week to get everything done outside your home; stuff like paying bills or going on a bank run, doing groceries, going to the dry cleaners or having clothes altered…you’ll get things done while at the same time, preventing cabin fever!
* Designate a “no kids zone” in your home. In my case I had to build a separate room in our garage. As expected, the kids don’t strictly follow the rule and we end up “working” side by side. My partner and I decided it would be better if we rent a studio nearby to serve as our office. The kids haven’t even been there yet, haha.
* Don’t forget downtime with your spouse or partner. After playtime with kids, you and your partner deserve time together. Step out on a date or snuggle up while watching a movie. Lock the door.
* Have lunch with a girlfriend. WAHMs, SAHMs (stay-at-home moms), and regular working moms—it doesn’t matter. We’re all busy in our own ways, but need time to connect and talk about…well, what women talk about. Make an effort to stay in touch with your friends.
* Get some exercise. In between Skype meetings, go for a walk, a run, a swim. Do some yoga. Me, I hop on a stepper and lift free weights while taking a break. Exercise is a great de-stressor.
* Pay attention to your looks and pamper yourself. Looking lousy will make you feel lousy as well. Being able to close deals while you’re in your pajamas may be a perk, yes, but don’t get too used to it. Don’t forget to groom your brows, get the occasional mani-pedi, hair treatment. Stay fab!
![A Bunch of Flowers]()
by rossanahead | Apr 30, 2011 | children, family, parenting, Rossana Llenado, woman
By Rossana L. Llenado One of my most vivid memories of my son Nicolo happened when he was just three years old. We were admiring the blooms at a flower shop in SM Megamall. And behind us was a bunch of other mommies looking at the beautiful floral arrangements. I must have looked so pleased because after some time, Nicolo said, “When I grow up, I’m going to buy you all these flowers!” My heart jumped to my throat. Like most three-year-olds, I knew that mommy was still the center of his universe. Nevertheless, his words filled me with joy. He said, “I’m going to buy you all these flowers!” I’ve been given flowers before but nothing beats the promise of my young beloved. Today, Nicolo is 15 years old. And true to his words, he has given me flowers through the years. He would give me bouquets on Mother’s Day and on my birthday. Once, he even gave me a bunch of roses. Put together, his gift of flowers would not be able to fill up a floral shop. But still, I am very happy. Next month, Nicolo will turn 16. Yes, my once sweet toddler will soon become a full-fledged teenager. And already, he’s talking about going to a soiree—an impending event which has brought me a bit of anxiety. Because after the soirees will come the crushes, and then the group dates and the prom, and soon, my once sweet toddler will be giving flowers to someone other than yours truly. I knew it would happen someday soon. And when it does, I will not cry. I will not shed a tear. I will be happy for my son Nicolo as he experiences the first throes of young love. But till then, I have the memory of this handsome three-year-old who made my heart jump with joy.
by rossanahead | Apr 28, 2011 | family, woman
By Jane Santos Guinto
One thing the University of the Philippines taught me is that life is full of contradictions. There are always opposing forces. There’s certainly no one way of viewing things.
This is how I’ve come to understand my mother’s bipolarity. She was diagnosed in 1986, a year after my father’s tragic death at 30.
At 6 years old, the words ‘psychiatrist,’ ‘nervous breakdown,’ ‘manic depressive,’ and ‘antidepressant’ had become part of my functioning vocabulary. For over 20 years, I would accompany her to the psychiatrist once a month, every three months, every six months, every year–depending on how things were.
“Poor Jane” was a common expression among relatives and friends.
Today, Mama has been off medication for close to a year. Even after having had a mastectomy and four bouts of chemotherapy three years ago, she continues to work full-time for the Supreme Court, attends weekly prayer meetings, and shops at Forever21. She’s almost never absent or late for work, even when she has cough or colds or even when there’s a typhoon coming.
I wonder sometimes if we had been wrong about treating her bipolarity as a curse instead of a charm.
Even when she was on antipsychotic drugs and talking in roundabouts half the time, she has always seemed to be very sure of what she wanted in life:
1. The best education for her 2 children
2. Her own money
3. Up-to-date clothes
While she could be very smothering at times, she could also be very stern. I remember on my first year of high school, she didn’t speak to me all the way home after getting my first quarter report card. Although I had above-average grades on all other subjects, I had barely passed Sibika at Kultura (Social Studies)–a subject she had excelled in since grade school. From that time on, I made sure I got good grades, even in subjects I disliked.
While her words can be hurtful and mean sometimes, her actions speak louder. She gets up at three in the morning to clean my van, get the washing machine going, and cook breakfast. She quarrels with her siblings over yahoogroups.com and yet, every year (in good times or bad) she gets every one of them a Christmas gift.
Indeed, we have a choice of how we’d see life. As others would see trips to the psychiatrist a dreadful chore for a child, I saw them as learning sessions. Debating with psychiatrists even before I hit my teens was good training for work.
As others choose to see my mom as a bit loony, I choose to see her as the best.
by rossanahead | Apr 26, 2011 | children, family, Karen Galarpe, parenting, woman
By Karen Galarpe
I felt it first early this month when I woke up at past 6 in the morning with the sunlight peeking through the blinds. Ah…it’s summer. And what a glorious day: I had 8 hours of sleep and no one had to rush that morning!
For years whenever it’s school season, I would wake up at 5 a.m. while it’s still dark outside to have a few minutes of quiet time before my son wakes up for school.
Then the frenzy starts as breakfast and baon for recess and lunch are prepared, schoolbag is checked, missing items searched for, both student and driver (me at times) get dressed, etc.
After the mad rush, it’s fulfilling to have my son out the door in time to make it to class without being late.
Some years ago, I interviewed an American psychologist who was a guidance counselor at an international school in Manila. And she said there are three times in a day when parents should be around as much as possible for their children: one, when a child leaves for school; two, when a child comes home from school; and three, when a child is about to go to bed.
Busy parents may not have the luxury of time to be there at all three times, but two is good, and one is better than zero.
So, back to summer. With school out, it’s a more laid-back lifestyle for moms, with time to read, play with the dogs, check out new places, catch up on sleep, and just relax–in the cool company of one’s kids. The living is easy. Life is good. Enjoy summer!
